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Untitled- rough (5/7/09)

May 8, 2009

even handkerchiefs
have exposed ends
i’ve frayed existing wires
my touch exposing the calm remains

and this, i swear, in a tone that’s meant
not for your ears, and colder to bear,
but still, your shoulders arch uncontrollably to match
the anxiety of existing tortures visited on your arms,

to wit, a chain goes with your smile for hours
on slips, and miracles that witness the change in your stare,
and hips,
i’ve walked more than this in one day,
and your shoes are unworn and i will visit you where you sleep
and make sure you know how unfair your world is

when you see upon me that ghost of your wear,
the knowledge that’s keeping this life tore and broke,
that kept the ribbons and stole away all miracles,
i can remember, the cycles go on indefinitely
in those cracks in your ire

some wistful gesture you thought would expire
only repeats and repeats in my memory
’till i wake up singed by the corpse of your furious vows
just to hold your mess from this clean wizened show
you hope to bring to a better girl someday

the irony’s not lost on me
of your forgotten dreams of eternity with lovers who console
that everlasting woe of hole alone that you embrace with both hands as
openly as you would cup my breast and sever any woes that you
can’t even remember just looking at my eyes and
it dawns on you that i’m awake, and aware,
and unsurprised by your actions even if
you are being the worst, most unfair person in the
entire universe

because boys don’t even know
when they hurt the whole love of the whole world that could save them
from the immaturity they crave
that may just disarm them.

i keep the most special looks
for those times when you don’t remember me
for those times when you’re asleep, safe without
any harboring of doubt,
when you know you won’t see me,
when you can hire a new set of fears to wonder about

i’m that girl you can’t abominate with lust in your heart and anguish in your eyes,
with temptation written across your eyelids just as dust is smeared across your tongue
in so many languages
that breathe your insecurities out and release
only when you seem to think
i’m not looking

i see you, but i’m not appalled
not surprised
not shaken

i miss you for the worst of times
because then,
i know you best

you are all the dreams
i hope to forget.

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