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Untitled (6/17/10)

July 6, 2010

i used to bathe in
unfounded uncertain hope
just to be away
from now and here

as troubling as futures can be,
that’s where i would go
willingly toward a time
at best, unknown

but now that there’s a place
terrifyingly present,
where i hurt from all the weight
of needing no more wishful plans–

i face the way that all things change and fondle
a dwindling set of wants,

with the will that keeps
you to me,
as time rushes to break the certainty
we trust,
the elastic identity we will share

if what’s new and different is kind,
perhaps I can sleep on the ideas i craved,

enough to settle down

but this is the first time
i’ve not wanted to see past this

and i’ve never been more afraid

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